I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So squirting runs in the family.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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