I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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