We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
