Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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