also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
