At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
