Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
