I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
