Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
