Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
