i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
