Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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