dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
