No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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