hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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