Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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