We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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