Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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