I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
