Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
They took my balls.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
