I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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