my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
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from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
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WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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