can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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