I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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