did you get engaged???
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
