I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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