living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
