i don't like sucking hair
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
we're so committed to being not committed
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
