Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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