I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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