If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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