I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
