its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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