i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
