I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize