thus making me awesome and them whores
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
