Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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