so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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