sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
