What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
