Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
