I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize