saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Green mimosas i think yes
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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