bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
