Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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