Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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