I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
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It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
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Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
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