The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
