Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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