i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
