There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
