is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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