First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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