He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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