I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I have already put on my inside pants.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
