im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
