I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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