Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
