you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with youâ€
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