something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
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My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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