I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
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I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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