i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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